2011 Ramble

“I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse.”
― Philip Yancey

This year has had so much turmoil that it really just seems like a blur looking back. At many points if you had asked me, I would have told you without hesitation that this was the worst year of my life. It may have been. But as Priscilla Shirer reminded me in the Bible study I did recently--"Bushes don't burn in the wet season. Only in the dry season." Through the desert times this year I have seen burning bushes like never before. I am learning to recognize God's voice more clearly and have seen the joy that comes from waiting on Him.
He has allowed me to see some things that make sense in reverse now--like waiting on Erick's job. Every step led him to where he is now, though in those 6+ years of wondering and praying we had no idea what was going on!
As we move into the next stage of trying to expand our family, I must have faith that God has His plans for us and let Him take care of it for us. His plans for us are good. I was planning on spending this Christmas in the maternity ward of the hospital and bringing home a wonderful present. I have prayed fervently that my favorite time of year wouldn't be spoiled by that pain. I am happy to say that I woke up today and had almost an hour before I remembered that today was my original due date. I have had more feelings of joy thinking of my baby celebrating the biggest birthday party ever in Heaven and thinking, "Boy, mom's going to love this one day!" (I hope that didn't just make me sound too crazy. You do whatcha gotta do!) And I know my Papa is right there with him seeing it for the first time, with my Grandfather who has seen it a few times (whose birthday is today--he would have been 81).
A precious family member of mine has also had some difficult health decisions he had to make, but I got to see just how strong he is by how he came through! That was a blessing in itself.
Yes, this year has held the most tragic and painful events of my life, but more importantly it has brought glorious ones as well. Above all, I know that the God of this universe loves me, and that gives me the peace that passes all understanding.