DISCLAIMER:

 
     This started as a preface to a blog I started to write, but then it turned into enough of an entry itself. The entry that inspired this will come later.
      Here's a big fat unsurprising disclaimer: I'm not a theologian.  I took one required religion class in college that only briefly mentioned Christianity. My validity as a spiritual leader of any sort is only backed by 20 (almost 30, *gasp*) some-odd years of listening to a handful of preachers and many Sunday School teachers, debating scripture with friends, sporadic (at best) personal study, and things I've heard from the I AM Himself (and trust me, I don't take that lightly).   
      That being said, the posts I write are simply what I draw from scripture and how it applies to my life. As was in many cases in my AP English classes, I may perceive them in some way that is off from how they were perhaps originally intended. But perhaps that's how God intended his Word to be. A Davy Jones of sorts.
     I have heard many people say they have read a verse a thousand times, but that 1,001st time they read it, it meant something different. Or that they realized something they never had before. Just like with the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). Remember the first time you realized the father was God and YOU were the prodigal? Or the first time you thought about it from the brothers' perspective? Or the first time you considered YOU were the brothers? I believe you hear and see what you need to at that point in your life.
     All this to say that maybe you think how I've interpreted something is wrong. Maybe you're right. Or maybe I'm just a vessel to show a different light on an old idea.

 

Forgetting to Remember

I forget a lot.
I forget why I go into rooms. I forget why I open the refrigerator. I forget "refrigerator" doesn't have a d even though "fridge" does. I forget who I have told stories to already. I forget to give Brynn her allergy medicine. I forget where I know people from. I forget to charge my cellphone, turn on my alarm clock, hang my keys by the door, put gas in my car, and to pack a toothbrush and/or pajamas on almost every vacation I've ever been on (Once, a long time ago before it mattered as much, thankfully, I forgot to pack a bra. Long story.).
Sticky notes are my friends, even though I don't use them as much as I should. (I forget where I put them.) I really am terrible at these little things. I write stuff on my calendar and then forget to look at the calendar. I even have notifications sent to my phone as text messages to do things and if I don't do it RIGHT then, well...you know.
Something that's been bothering me lately though is that I'm forgetting to pray. I mean, I pray quick little prayers throughout the day. If you need me to pray for you, send me an email. I promise I'll pray for you at least once. I am in the habit of praying right then, before I move to the next email. I pray a little on the way to school, until something comes on the radio or down the road that catches my attention. I pray before supper. (Not even great at remembering to bless my food at breakfast and lunch.)
I give myself a little slack. I do have two small children, a husband, and a full-time job that take 99.9% of my active gray matter 24/7. Max is still not exactly on a "schedule" and Brynn's temperament varies as much as southern weather in the winter. Some nights they let me get a good full 5 hours of sleep and other nights I get 2 hour spurts. Hence, some mornings I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed at 5:30, others I'm telling myself I will be fired if I don't roll my hiney out of bed and be in my car in 10 minutes.
I tell myself that if the creator of the universe has time for me, surely I can carve out some time for Him. But even Jesus was never a mommy! Just sayin'! I'm joking. Sort of. But all guilt and excuses aside, I have to find some way to pray ON PURPOSE. Not just when it crosses my mind. Because obviously, I can't count on my mind to remember, "Oh yeah, I need to shut out all other distractions and talk and listen to God." I don't know exactly how to do that yet. Early morning is my best bet, but there's the aforementioned sleep issue. There's night when the kiddos are in bed (assuming they'll stay like that), but I'm always so tired I honestly think I'd fall asleep. As some of you saw in my facebook picture, I don't regularly get alone time, even in the bathroom. I know one day the babies will be older and (maybe) then it will be easier, but it will always have to be on purpose.
So here's my prayer today:
Dear God, help me figure out the best way to make more time for you. Make me see past my excuses and be open to whatever I need to do. Forgive me for when my priorities are out of order. Thank you for loving me all the time, not just every so often when you think about it. Thank you for making me who I am, even when it's frustrating to me and you. Help me always remember to show your love to others by the way I treat them. I love you all the time, even if I forget to say it or show you. Amen.