Dear Diet

Image via Wikipedia

Dear Diet,
I will not give up my sweet tea at lunch.
I will make myself ride 8 miles on the only machine in the gym without a TV (because it's the only bike left). I will eat Colon Blow cereal and drink waterwaterwaterwater.
I will also drink sweet tea at lunch.
I will wear my pedometer and log my progress on my awesome DS Weight Loss coach (thanks, Santa!). I will walk the equivalent of an Olympic Marathon in two days.
I will celebrate my victories with sweet tea.
Why, you ask, am I sabotaging myself with this sugary solution? Oh, my friend, your job is to teach people to control their cravings and binges. That is what we have in common. My job is to teach young minds to control their spasms and impulses. What you have that I do not is your invisibility cloak and your lack of feeling. You can skulk away at will while I am sentenced to sit and dine with my subjects. THAT is why I will be drinking my sweet tea.
I will eat my low-fat low-sodium low-taste soup and cardboard crackers. But you know what I'll be drinking. So just back off. I've got this.
Sincerely,
Your frequent visitor