I realized something today, and I wanted to know if it is just me.
When I am choosing to eat whatever I want and do (or not do) whatever I want, I'm sort of okay with how I look. I may not be happy with my size or level of squishiness, but I realize in exchange for that I'm eating all the cookies I want. So there.
However, now that thankfully I have a more realistic handle of what goes into my mouth and how many steps I take a day, I'm quite frustrated with my reflection. I really want immediate gratification. I want someone to know that I didn't eat the cake at the faculty meeting (or the doughnuts by the sign in sheet OR the cookies my hairdresser offered me, etc.) without me having to tell them. Wouldn't that be nice? For every good choice you make *POOF~!* another pound gone.
The least I should be able to do is choose where I lose first. I'm one of those lucky girls who gains an ounce and it goes straight to her FACE. I can hide a mushroom top in layers, and black pants can do wonders for my thighs. But there ain't no hidin' this soft plushy glow underneath my original chin.
I try telling myself what I've heard on Biggest Loser: you did this to yourself, now you can get yourself out of it. Yeaaaahhh....that doesn't make me feel better.
Instead, I'll keep reminding myself that if I keep it up, eventually I won't take up so much of the mirror. Until then, friends, I apologize that I will continue to inform you when I passed by a bowl of chocolates (sigh) or huffed on the treadmill.
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